My son joined the Mormon church. Why are you splitting up my family?

I know that these changes can seem hurtful.  And since we're all imperfect, we probably don't do everything we can to make them go smoothly.  But I have every confidence that your son's (or daughter's) decision will bless your family, and especially your grandchildren, in the long run.

Please know that they are not rejecting what you have taught them about Christianity. Quite the opposite; people who join the Mormon church are generally starting to take what they've been taught very seriously, and they're finding that we can answer some questions for them that form as a result of their search.  The things that are most central to your child's Christian upbringing will remain in tact.  That includes belief in Christ as the only way to heaven, and respect for the Holy Bible.  Many of the other things you have taught them about, such as the importance of the prophets and apostles, and taking care of our bodies and our families, will come to have deeper meaning.

The only thing they are setting aside is the brand label they have carried since childhood.  Ironically, we have been trying to teach our children to get rid of our label ("Mormons") all along.  We'd prefer to be called members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  But we acknowledge that this is a mouthfull.

If you choose to view this decision as if your child is throwing away the Chevy you gave them or trading it in for a Ford (or vice versa, as you wish), then this change could be hurtful. But let me offer you a different way of looking at it: In our view they are simply discarding the logos and bumper stickers and attaching some additional parts.  We see those added parts as necessary for Christianity to function well and according to its original design, and we can offer scriptural evidence for that, if you want.  You don't have to agree, and you might not find those accessories tasteful, and we respect that, but please choose to see your child's decision to "accessorize" their Christian beliefs as loving care for the gift you gave them.

Please also know that we do not ostracize, exclude, or shun those that are not of our faith.  Many have accused us of this.  It's a silly accusation.  We are under a mandate to visit, to love, and to serve everyone. We make a special effort to reach out and love and serve those who are not of our faith or who have distanced themselves, whether they are our neighbors or our family members or our friends in the community.

I hope that helps.