Yes. Don’t we all. I can fill in the blank as easily as anyone. This week the conversation came up in a business dinner. One of my business partners noted that I was not drinking wine and, recalling that I am Mormon, told me he has another Mormon associate that will ‘test’ a sip of the wine at dinner but not drink a glass of it.
Other iterations are ‘lived with his girlfriend before they got married’, ‘buys lottery tickets when the jackpot gets really big', ‘drinks Coke’ or ‘watches Rated-R movies’.
Some of the instructions that we have been given leave room for personal interpretation. For example, plenty of Mormons drink Coke. It doesn’t affect their standing in the church. I don’t drink Coke. I expect my children to refrain from it as well. But I don’t have a problem with those members who do.
By the way, just because specific behaviors are left to personal interpretation, it doesn't mean I have to explore its boundaries. Much of the purpose of the gospel lies in refining ourselves without written, specific obligations.
Now, other instructions do not leave room for personal interpretation. ‘Lived with his girlfriend before they married’ is cohabitation and prohibited by prophetic instruction. Even if they ‘aren’t having sex’ (yeah right).
None of us is perfect. In some of these cases these indiscretions were just that, and if the member chooses to repent, the Lord forgives them and they can enjoy all of the blessings of church membership without hesitation. In some other cases, the members seek to justify their behavior to other members and demonstrate that ‘you can still be a good person even though’… In the case of someone who breaks a commandment (I consider all prophetic instruction to be commandments) and then tries to demonstrate they are ‘faithful to the church even though’, they are not doing themselves or the church any good. And they still need to repent.
But we still love them. And we still stand by our principles. Yes, it is possible to do both. Just because I refuse to participate in the same behavior does not mean that I don’t love you and want the best for you. And just because I try to teach a better way – a way that I have found brings happiness – doesn’t mean that I am bigoted, intolerant, or arrogant.
By the way, if his Bishop knows about it, your friend that ‘tests’ the wine probably doesn’t hold a temple recommend any more, and won’t be considered a ‘member in good standing’ until he repents and changes, although that would not be public knowledge.
Friday, August 7, 2009
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